Food fight!
by RedCharmeleon
Summary: When Ruby and Sapph get into a fight at Ruby's birthday party, what happens? The title answers the question. Really late birthday fic for Ruby, sorry! ;-;


I'm so sorry! I forgot Ruby's birthday! Well, I haven't been active lately, because a lot of things are going on so... Also, I implore you guys to give me some more time with my other writing. I've already written one fourth for 'The Gathering' last chapter. Back to Ruby's birthday! I'm late for his birthday so you can't exactly call this a birthday fic, even though this takes place on his birthday. Well, enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned Pokemon, I'd have Sinnoh remakes come out instead of Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon.

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'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Ru－' 'Ya'all mean Prissy Boy,' Sapphire interrupted. 'Da song should be like this: ''Happy birthday to ya, happy birthday to ya, happy birthday to _Prissy Boy_ , happy birthday to ya'' That's how it should've been.'

The original ten Dexholders were at Littleroot Town, Ruby's house, to celebrate Ruby's birthday. They were all surrounded around the dining table, where all the food were, except for Sapphire.

'Shut up, Sapph,' Ruby glared at Sapphire, who was slumped on the couch. 'Don't ruin my birthday.'

'I'm not ruinin' yer birthday!' Sapphire said. 'I'm just correcting the birthday song's words.'

'Yeah, right,' Ruby snorted. 'On 21st September, I'm gonna sing: 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to _the barbarian,_ happy birthday to you' to you.'

'Shut the Kyogre up, Prissy.' Sapphire snarled.

'Not gonna shut up, barbarian~' Ruby sang.

'You－'

'Aaaaand there they go again,' Red sweatdropped as Ruby and Sapphire started throwing insults at each other.

'Stop flirting!' Emerald shouted at the arguing duo.

But instead of stopping the argument, it made the fight more vicious.

'How old are they?' Green groaned. 'They're sixteen, but they act like ten year olds.'

'Would they stop arguing and continue on with the birthday song?!' Blue and Gold fumed together. 'I want cake!'

Both Yellow and Crystal shook their heads at the fuming duo. 'Have some patience, guys,' Crys told them.

'Shut up!' Silver moaned, clutching his head. 'They're giving me a headache. I'm sick of Ruby and Sapphire's shouting!'

'Take that, ya Prissy!'

There was a 'Oomph' sound and everyone turned to see Gold's face all smeared with...berry salad?!

'Oops,' Sapph giggled nervously. She had thrown the salad in Ruby's direction, but Ruby dodged it and...it hit Gold.

'I'm sorry, Gold!' Sapph gulped. 'I wanted the salad to hit Ruby, but the sassy prissy dodged it and- SHI-'

The sapphire eyed girl couldn't continue because her golden eyed senior had thrown a piece of pizza at her and it hit Sapph right in the face.

'Gold!' Crys scolded. 'Sapph's your junior! You shouldn't have－' Before Crystal could finish her sentence, Gold grabbed the nearest jug of juice and poured it on her.

'G-gold!' Crys snarled, angry, then threw a creamy cupcake at Gold, who dodged and the cupcake hit Blue.

'Eww!' Blue complained. 'I've got cream all over me!' She turned and wiped some of the cream off on Green.

Green growled, took a plate of spaghetti and threw it in Emerald-who was the nearest-'s face. Meanwhile, Silver emptied a box of popcorn on an escaping Crys for throwing the cupcake at Blue.

Emerald roared, and threw the spaghetti plate at Ruby. Ruby dodged, and Yellow quickly hid behind Red to avoid the plate. The plate hit the wall and, thankfully, did not break into pieces.

Red took a look at the shivering Yellow, and decided to end this little fight by stepping out, raising his voice, and saying, 'Maybe we should stop-' But of course it didn't work. Gold then threw a huge chocolate chip cookie right in Red's face, and that caused Red to abandon poor Yellow and join the food fight.

Sapph sprayed cream on her muddy shoes, then kicked Ruby right in the mouth, which caused him to eat a mixture of cream and mud.

'Mmmmpphhhh!' Ruby sputtered, having to eat such a disgusting treat. Sapph was splayed on the floor, laughing her ass off until Ruby grabbed a bunch of M&Ms and shoved it into her open mouth, causing her to choke.

Meanwhile, Red, Blue, Silver, Gold and Emerald joined forces, wrestled Green on to the floor so that he couldn't move and gave him a 'makeup'. They sprayed cream all over his body, added berries and chocolate on top of the cream, and kept shoving donuts into his face.

'Look!' Gold and Emerald snickered. 'A creamy freak!'

Green's reply was muffled ( I 'et you for zis!) due to the donuts, but they could still figure out what he was saying (I'll get you for this!).

'HIYAA!' There was a shout and as everyone turned to look, they were sprayed by sticky, sweet juice, which helped Green wash off the cream even though the liquid was sticky.

As Red and Sapph licked the juice ('Oooh, it's delicious!'), the others turned to see who the attacker was, and it was Crys...and Yellow?! And they were holding water guns!

'Yells?!' Blue gasped. 'Hey!' Ruby shouted. 'How'd you find my water guns?!'

'When Yellow and I were looking for a place to hide,' Crys started triumphantly. 'We found them in the storage closet. Then we sneaked them downstairs, and filled the guns with juice! After all, ''Attack is the best defense!'' '

'Noooo!' Ruby wailed. 'Now the guns' inside will get all sticky!'

'Nobody CARES!' Sapph shouted, grinning, then threw a chocolate bar at the water gun duo. Crystal pushed Yellow out of the way, then dodged just in time.

'Let's join forces to grab the the water, no, juice guns!' Gold hollered at Blue and Emerald, ignoring Ruby's cries of 'My originally clean water guns~'.

Red and Green, on the other hand, grabbed the tubs of ice-cream on the dining table, then dug the ice-cream out with their bare hands, made them into ice-cream balls (kinda like a snowball), and started throwing them at Yellow and Crys, who blasted them away with their juice guns.

'The wallpaper!' Ruby sobbed as the ice-cream hit the dining room wallpaper and melted into creamy, sticky liquid.

'THAT'S IT!' Gold shouted, after being sprayed with juice by Crys and Yellow multiple times. 'Take out the ultimate weapon!'

'Er, do we even have one?' Emerald asked, cocking his head at Gold.

'Of course!' Gold grinned like a maniac as he pointed towards Ruby's huge Pecha berry birthday cake, which was miraculously still unharmed.

'Don't. You. Dare. Touch. My. Cake,' Ruby snarled at Gold, who ignored him.

'Let's get this party started!' Gold cackled, launching himself towards the cake.

'NOOOOOO!' Ruby shrieked, and dove in front of Gold, trying to stop him from touching his cake.

'Get－away,' Gold grunted, pushing Ruby out of his way, but the red eyed boy refused to move an inch.

'Please! Don't touch my cake! I'm begging you! I'll make you a tuxedo! The best one ever! And for your Pokèmon too! Just don't touch the cake!' Ruby begged, while wrestling with Gold.

'Oh shut up, you prissy!' Emerald pounced, and pulled Ruby's pants down, revealing his pink Skitty underwear.

'Aaah!' Ruby stopped fighting with Gold and tried to cover his pink underwear with his hands. 'Give me back my pants!'

'Too late!' Emerald stuck out his tongue at Ruby, and threw Ruby's pants at Sapph's direction.

'What the－' Sapph said as Ruby's pants hit her on the stomach. 'Pants? Whose pants?'

She turned and saw Ruby's frozen face, then looked down, and saw his underwear.

'Bwahahaha!' Sapph burst out laughing, and momentarily forgot about the food fight. She was laughing so hard she toppled over, her face red.

'S-sapph! Please, give me back my pants!' Ruby appeared next to Sapph, who was clutching Ruby's pants like a lifeline while laughing.

'N-nah!' Sapph managed to choke out the word, and threw Ruby's pants out of the open window.

'You threw it outside!' Ruby looked at Sapph with disbelief. 'What have you done?! How could you?! Are you drunk?! Wait, you can't drink alcohol at the age of sixteen! You're still underage! Okay, then you must be mental! Sapph, I highly recommend you an alyssum!'

As poor Ruby tried to 'reason' with Sapph and brainstorm some ideas to get his pants back, Gold and Emerald had finally managed to grab the cake.

Gold quickly grabbed a slice of the berry cake, and threw it at Crys, who was so surprised that she dropped the juice gun.

'Gotcha!' Gold raised his new juice gun in triumph. 'C'mon, Rald, let's get you one too,' Gold told Emerald while gesturing towards Yellow, who was fighting Red, Blue, Green and Silver at the same time.

Yellow was surprisingly good. She was able to dodge multiple food and managed to shoot Red right in the eye.

'Yo, Straw Hat Gal!' Gold whistled, blasting some juice in Yellow's direction.

Yellow turned, but the speedy blonde dodged the juice just in time.

'You're pretty good, Yellow!' Blue huffed, hurtling a sandwich at Yellow. Silver copied Blue's actions.

'You too, Blue!' Yellow smiled at the azure eyed girl as she dodged both sandwiches.

'Oh, darn!' Gold cursed as he tried to shoot Yellow again. 'The damned thing's run out of juice!'

'I'm on it!' Emerald told Gold, diving behind Crys, who had resumed the food battle.

'Yo, Yellow-senpai!' There was a shout and Yellow turned again, only to be hit by a lump of cake.

'Hiya!' Emerald jumped down from the table, brushing his hands. 'Now let's get that gun!'

Emerald tried to wrestle the gun out of Yellow's hands, but was then pushed out of the way by Green.

Green eventually succeeded, and then proceeded to shoot Red, Blue, Silver, Gold and Emerald.

'I told you guys!' He exclaimed, shouting down at their 'corpses' while standing on the table. 'I said that "I'll get you for this" and I did!'

'Green's scary...' Yellow muttered as Crys, Sapph and herself huddled in a corner.

For a second, it seemed to everyone that Green had won the food fight, but pants-less Ruby climbed up on the table and started to wrestle Green.

'Give me back my gun and get down from the table!' Ruby grunted, reaching for the gun. 'Your dirty feet are making the table filthy!' He then accidentally kicked the juice gun out of Green's hands.

The gun looked as though it was flying in slow motion, but then it hit a woman right in the face－Ruby's mother had gotten back from shopping.

Green and Ruby stopped fighting immediately as Caroline grabbed the gun, put it down and observed the room. How would you feel if you came back from shopping, the dining room was a total mess, and your son was wrestling with another boy on the dining table without pants?

Well...

'WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!'

'Crap...'

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Poor Ruby... I feel as though this's a torture fic for him instead of a birthday fic. Sorry if the characters are OOC. Please review and no flames please!


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